I never liked writing in school. That’s putting it mildly. But I managed to get good enough grades up until the joyful day that I did not have to take any more English classes.
And now I am blogging. This is the most writing I have done of my own volition. (How many of you are in the same situation?)
I feel much less confident in my writing on this blog than I did in my school writing. Not because I think I have gotten worse. I’m quite certain that my school essays were dreadful. The difference is that now I actually care a little about what I am saying.
With those school essays my only thoughts were to fill pages and get a decent grade. What I was talking about was immaterial—and largely just regurgitated the lectures. I was not really trying to communicate any ideas.
Now that I am really trying to share a few thoughts with you, my reader, I can see more clearly how I fall short. I see the sentences that tangle up. I see the ideas that turn out to only be tricks of mental light.
I know that those problems do not come from being a bad writer. Those problems come from thinking and communicating clearly being hard. Fundamentally.
I try to keep these posts casual. I don’t usually have any outlines or such. I’m chattering at the internet more than writing essays. Yet I can’t ignore the need to communicate something.
I have no real conclusion to this. I am going to keep writing and struggling with it; maybe that is all one can do.