10:20 PM

March 26, 2025

Habits are difficult to manage. This is somewhat by their nature of being the things that we do not conciously manage. “Good” ones are too hard to establish, and “bad” ones are too hard to break.

I have a habit that frustrates me greatly, yet I can’t seem to stop doing it. It is not a bad habit, it is simply one that is almost, but not quite, what I want to be doing.

I have told myself that my bedtime is 10pm. That’s when I want to be in bed. Yet almost every night as I actually get into bed it’s at least twenty minutes past my goal. I can’t even put all the blame on my phone. Even if I put that away early as all the articles say you’re supposed to, something else sneaks in to delay me. Often it’s a book. Sometimes it’s just talking to someone. But whenever I’m “ahead of schedule” on any of the various steps of getting ready something kindly steps in to fill the gap.

I can write some justification for myself on why fixing this is hard. The actual cues and activities that need to be moved earlier are well before going to bed—the time I brush my teeth, etc—instead of targeting the end goal directly. The human brain is so capable, and yet so… silly sometimes.

Well, Goodnight.